so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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