They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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