Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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