adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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