D3 body, D1 cock
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
