remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
