I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
