first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
