you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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