she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
