your room smells of hookers.
And success
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
