So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
