So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
