I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
