(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you win again, gameday.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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