Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
