my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
