Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
