he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up under a house in Key West
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
