New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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