Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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