What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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