So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
