it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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