Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
