Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
