After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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