Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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