I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize