You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
