mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You pole danced in your parka.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize