I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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