Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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