I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wish there were birth control emojis
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
