And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
