i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
