You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize