you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
