dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
