i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
