I think I won the penis lottery.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
