Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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