i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
