we have pet lesbian snakes
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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