take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sorry about my life...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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