I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
