terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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