Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize