i think i have herpe
just one?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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