i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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