walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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