sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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