I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize