I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize