girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
