with your own penis?
wanna go halves on a baby?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize