The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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