Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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