You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
