Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
