Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
