like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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