oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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