the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize